


A Stony Slope to Love

by NishaGreyjoy



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Lime, Romance, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 08:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15432864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NishaGreyjoy/pseuds/NishaGreyjoy
Summary: Jack invites Nisha to spend some quality time together, only to ignore her.  What's a bored Lawbringer to do?  Get payback, of course!





	A Stony Slope to Love

Bump. Clatter.

Bump. Clatter.

Nisha couldn’t hear the pebbles hit the ground far below. She hoped she was hitting people, but she couldn’t be sure. The awning directly below the balcony made it impossible for her to see where her pebbles were going – all she could do was hope for the best. She picked up another one from the garden surrounding the balcony, and held it between her fingers, considering for a moment. She knew Jack had a team of workers below repainting the Hyperion logo onto the double doors leading into his newly built high rise apartment buildings. Jack was unusually proud of his newest building, and the slightest scratch or damage to any part of it was enough for him to hire yet another team of workers to make it look good as new. Today, those workers were her target. They were mostly directly below the balcony, making it impossible for her to drop stones directly on them, but one of them might step out to go to the bathroom or something. She exhaled slowly, then dropped the stone onto the Eridium awning. It hit with a bump, and clattered noisily as it rolled downwards off the edge of the building.

Nisha was bored, which was never a good thing, either for her or the people around her. When Jack had initially invited her to Opportunity for some R&R, she had eagerly accepted. Much as she loved Lynchwood, it wasn’t all fun and games. Keeping the town nice and obedient was a full-time job, and though she relished it, even she needed a vacation once in a while. She’d had some misgivings at first. The town would have to be left in the charge of Deputy Winger, who, despite his competence was a bit too softhearted for the job as Sheriff. Doubtless when she got back she’d have to overturn some of his more lenient decisions. But then it occurred to her that the looks on the faces of everyone who thought they’d gotten off scot free when she condemned them to death would be hilarious. Besides, she had missed Jack, though she’d never admit it. So she had called him up and told him to send a shuttle for her, and within the hour she was on her way to Jack’s new capital. This would have been a time to kick back, relax, recharge her batteries and rest up a bit…

Except that her idiot boyfriend had then decided that he simply *had* to attend to the construction of a gigantic statue of himself bestriding the bridge into Opportunity. Standing a colossal 500m tall, with one leg on each side of the bridge, it was to be a symbol of his power and a sign that all who lived in Opportunity were under his “protection.” All who drove under it would be reminded that this was *Jack’s* city and they’d better be on their best behavior. Like he needed any more sops to his ego, she thought angrily. Now he was in his office, with people coming in day and night and constantly disturbing her. She could see it from the balcony, rising like a giant purple eyesore. It was being constructed out of pure Eridium, mined from Lynchwood, carved at the Blight and being shipped directly to the building site. The expense came directly from the paychecks of the people building it, which was a neat little trick. But either way he wasn’t paying attention to her.

So Nisha stood on the balcony outside of Jack’s office, wearing her pants and duster and nothing else, except of course for her revolver, rolling pebbles off the awning trying to hit people below. It used to be easier – early on the awning was made of cloth. She’d just slash a hole in it and drop things directly onto whoever was nearby. Jack would yell at her, but she’d just bat her eyes at him and he’d melt, like he always did whenever she was nearby. But lately he’d been on an Eridium craze. The awning, the railing and much of the furniture had been replaced with the carved element. She liked it – purple was by far her favorite color – but it made it virtually impossible to aim her projectiles. He’d pay for this, she thought irritably. Maybe she’d slip the workers a couple hundred thousand dollars to inject slag into that big statue of his. She’d love to see the look on his face when it toppled into the water. The workers would be executed and she’d get the money back if she moved quickly enough. A good result all around. She smiled at the thought. She’d think about it.

She dropped another pebble and then sighed. It was no use. She simply wasn’t going to hit anyone this way. She looked around, and her eyes fell on the whiskey bottle she had so recently emptied. Her eyes lit up as an idea began to form. She picked up the empty bottle and smiled. Yes. This would do nicely. She walked towards the edge of the balcony and estimated where the workers would be about now. She had one shot at this. She took a deep breath, prayed for luck, and dropped the bottle. It slid noisily along the edge of the awning and plummeted to the ground below. She held her breath, and then grinned giddily as she heard shouts of pain far below. She could imagine the bottle smashing as it hit the ground, the shards flying everywhere and cutting whoever was close by. She made a mental note to look at the security footage outside the entrance. If she was really lucky they would have cursed on camera and she could get them hit up for verbal littering. She wouldn’t see them killed, oh no. She needed her targets. But a nice bullwhipping never hurt anyone.

She pursed her lips for a minute, thinking. Then she walked quietly into Jack’s penthouse apartment. She could hear him talking in his office. Silently she slipped into the bedroom. There were a few whiskey bottles strewn about, products of her boredom over the last two weeks. She liked to leave trash around to annoy him, but for once it wasn’t having the desired effect. She slipped a bottle in each coat pocket. A good start. Then she had a much better idea. She crept into the dining room and smiled as she saw Jack’s wine cabinet. Yes. She opened it up and smiled wider at the “choice” vintages inside. She scooped up a few. Payback and pleasure, all in a day’s work.

She silently crept back out onto the balcony and placed the bottles at her feet. Who to share her new toys with? Her first thought was to roll them down the awning the same way, but she decided against it. The workers were almost certainly wise to her by now – she’d need to find a new target. She picked up her sniper rifle, which lay beside her next to her boots, and detached the scope before climbing up onto the balcony railing. The scope was excellent for looking out past the awning onto the city below. She found what she was looking for – a young woman with a stroller, walking quietly towards one of the buildings with another small child in tow. She grimaced. It never ceased to amaze her how many people believed Jack’s bullshit about moving to Opportunity. It was all well and good for her, vacationing in a penthouse apartment 100 floors up removed from the riff-raff. But living here? Day by day, with nothing to do but listen to Jack’s endless pronouncements or avoid breaking his endless rules? You couldn’t pay her enough.

She hopped down and picked up a bottle of “Hyperion’s Finest.” She took a swig, gagged and weighed it in her hand, considering its trajectory and velocity, before climbing back up to the railing. She took a deep breath, drew back, aimed, and flung the bottle. It flew through the air and sparkled as it caught the sun before beginning its long descent. She watched its fall, biting her lip. Had she miscalculated? But her aim was true, and the bottle landed within one meter of her intended victim, spraying yellow shards and wine everywhere.

“YEAH!”

Through the scope she watched mother and child shriek in pain as the glass slashed into them. She thought she could see a few shards land in the stroller, but she couldn’t be sure. She hoped so. Nisha Kadam hated children.

She hopped down and took up another bottle, then climbed back up. The mother hadn’t moved. She was looking around frantically, like she didn’t know what was going on. Stupid bitch. You never made yourself a stationary target – that virtually invited hostile fire. She drew back, aimed and sent the bottle spiraling downward. This one hit even closer, and Nisha was rewarded by an even louder scream of pain. She was as giddy as a child herself now. She hopped down and picked up a third bottle. “Helios High-Life.” She didn’t bother to taste it – she knew it was shit. Jack’s decision to create a vineyard on the satellite had to have been one of the stupidest moves in the history of wine-making. At least she’d found a better use for it. She got back up on the railing. The kid, clearly the smart one in the family, had broken off and was running away. The mother was still standing there, trying to shield the stroller with her body. Some people never learned. Her back was to Nisha. She aimed carefully. She was hoping to get the mother on the head or back, sending her sprawling into the stroller and hopefully dumping the baby onto the glass covered ground. She lined up her shot and took a deep breath. One, two…

“NISHA!”

She started, but managed to keep her balance. She turned around to see Jack standing in the doorway. His arms were crossed, and he did *not* look happy.

“Uh… hi, loverboy.”

“What the hell are you doing?!”

She smiled innocently. “Nothin.’ Just enjoying the beautiful afternoon sky.”

He pointed to the bottles at her feet. “Yeah? You gonna tell me you drank all those bottles dry just now… wait, is that one of my expensive wines?!”

Busted. “Is that what this is? I thought it was rakk piss.”

She heard him suck in a deep breath of anger. “Get down from there.”

“Ooooh, I like it when you’re bossy.”

“NOW!”

She nimbly hopped down.

“Come!”

“What, right here? Jack, you ARE a dirty boy.”

He reddened. “No, I meant… gah! Follow me! And button up your coat!”

Smirking, she did so as she followed him into his office to see a scared looking individual in workman’s clothes standing in front of his desk.

“This is Jasper, the foreman for the work crew down below. Jasper, tell Nisha what you just told me.”

Nervously, the foreman turned to face Nisha. “We… we were doing some work repainting the doors and some things… some things started falling.”

She smiled at him. “Things started falling?”

“Y… yeah. Like, rocks.”

“Rocks?” Slowly, Nisha began to unbutton her duster. She watched the foreman’s eyes go wide. He hesitated, the color rising to his face. She smiled wider. “Tell me about these rocks.”

“…Y-yeah, they w-were falling. From high up. Little white rocks. Falling.”

Her coat was all the way open now. She heard Jack hiss as he realized what she was doing. She ignored him, sauntering over to Jasper, who was sweating now. “White rocks?”

The foreman was completely red. He stared at the floor, then at her, then the floor again, then at her. “Y-y-yeah… they were h-h-hard. And could hurt. Could m-make it difficult to w-work.”

She put one arm around his neck, the other at his chest. She could almost hear the steam coming from Jack’s ears. “Hurting white rocks?” Her hand began to travel downward. Jasper squeezed his eyes shut. He was trembling now. She rested her hand on his groin and whispered in his ear. “I understand how hurting white rocks can make it hard to work…”

“ENOUGH!!!” She smiled at the anger in Jack’s voice. “Jasper! I… you… you just…”

“Don’t punish him, handsome.” Nisha was still staring at the foreman, who was sweating bullets. “If you punish him at all, you ain’t getting none of me for at least a year.” She did her best to look sultry. “In fact, I want you to promote him to management, so he can work here in the building.”

Jack’s voice sounded choked with rage. “Jasper… you… just get out of here! Get back to work!”

She batted her eyes at Jasper. “See ya soon, cowboy.” He fled, grateful to be excused. Nisha turned to face Jack and burst out laughing. “See you’ve turned my favorite color. It’s a good look for you. Should do this more often.”

“YOU… WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!”

“Well,” she said airily, “if my boyfriend’s gonna ignore me then I suppose I’ll just have to make other arrangements, won’t I?”

“I wasn’t…” Listening to him force the words past gritted teeth made her laugh harder. “I wasn’t… Iwasnotignoringyou!”

“Course not. You were just looking at all those plans for that stupid statue of yours. Seems you’re more attracted to yourself than you are to me. Hell, maybe I *should* run off with that foreman. Bet he’s all hard muscle under those coveralls, not like you.” She poked him in the stomach.

Jack ground his teeth. “Look, I’m busy, okay?! I’m the CEO of Hyperion! Biggest company in the galaxy, remember? I can’t just take off whenever I feel like it! I…” Nisha started making the “blah blah” gesture with her hand. Jack stopped, took a deep breath, and tried again.

“Look, babe.” He stopped again, as Nisha had crossed her arms and turned away from him. “I mean, I know I invited you up here and we were gonna have a vacation together…”

“Important word being together.”

“Yes, together, but you’ve got to understand – being a hero is a full-time job, and sometimes I don’t get to walk away from it. Now those people out there, they need to know I’m looking out for them. Me. Handsome Jack. They need that statue. When that statue is done, it’ll be a statement to all the bandit scum that there is at least one shining beacon of civilization that they’ll never sully with their filthy, baby eating hands. I owe it to them! Can’t you see that?”

“Nah, I see it just fine. You just do what you do.” She opened the door to the hallway.

“Hey, wait, where are you going?!”

“Downstairs. Gonna go chat up that construction crew. Probably be more interesting than you about now.”

“What?!” Jack was sputtering with rage now. “You can’t… dressed like that… you can’t do it!”

Nisha turned to him and looked over herself, feigning surprise. “Oh, you’re right. Forgot somethin’. Gimme a sec.”

She walked back to the balcony and slipped her boots on.

“There. Don’t wanna cut my feet on that glass. All good now.” She began walking back towards the door.

“That’s not what I meant!!!” She smiled at the shock and anger in his voice. He forced himself to calm down. “Now look, Nisha. I know I haven’t been a good boyfriend lately.”

“Mmm hmm.” She turned away from him again, leaning against the railing. Jack paused, then continued.

“But it’s not like you’re in a prison cell. You’ve got this beautiful penthouse apartment, you’ve got a big TV, stereo, beautiful view. Just relax, entertain yourself, and when I have time…” he stopped suddenly. Nisha had been fingering one of Jack’s more expensive wine bottles while he rambled on. She took a swig, and then suddenly threw it over the balcony as far as she could, before pulling her revolver and taking a shot. The bottle shattered in mid-air, sending glass shards falling over what must have been a considerable area. She hoped they’d hit at least a few people. She turned to face Jack, who stood there in shocked silence. She smirked.

“That, cowboy, is how I entertain myself.”

“That was one of my best vintages!”

She snorted. “Overpriced shit. I’m doin’ you a favor.” She bent over to pick up another bottle.

“Nisha!” Jack did his best to sound firm, “Littering is a punishable offense here!”

“Which is why I’m doin’ it.” She drew her arm back.

“Now hold on a second, Nish’ just waitaminute, that’s a collector’s… no wait!”

The sound of the bottle shattering in the air was almost as satisfying as Jack’s cry of dismay.

“That was… do you realize how much that was worth?!”

She spat in derision. “Considering how much vacation time I’ve been burning up for nothing, I’d say it’s a fair trade. Well, it will be fair. In time.” She picked up another bottle.

“NOW WAIT A SECOND!!!”

She turned and raised an eyebrow at him. She had to admit, he was pretty cute when he was angry.

“Yeah?”

“I… I’ll try to pay more attention to you.”

She pursed her lips, as if thinking. “Nope. Not good enough.” The bottle sailed through the air before the bullet smashed it.

“STOP DOING THAT!”

She laughed. “Why? Look how pissy it’s making you.” She grinned.

Jack sucked in a deep breath. “This… this is not Lynchwood, Nisha. This is my city. Opportunity. A bright star shining in darkness. And my citizens DESERVE to be able walk the streets without some nutty bandit bitch throwing glass everywhere!!!”

The smile vanished from her face. “I see,” she said calmly. “Bitch, am I? Then I’d better play the part.”

She walked back inside the apartment and headed for the dining room. Jack followed, pleading.

“Now wait, wait. Nish’, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“Yeah you did.” She opened the wine cabinet and yanked one of the wine racks out. The bottles shifted in their spaces, and it was a bit awkward carrying them all, but she got them out onto the balcony without any of them falling. She hoisted the rack onto the railing and prepared to shove it off.

“WAIT!” 

She looked over her shoulder. “You say somethin’?”

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then… “I’ll… I’ll put the statue project on hold. I’ll stop everything for now!”

“You gonna stop ignoring me?”

“I promise you babe, you’ll have my full attention.”

She smiled sweetly and put the wine rack down. “You say the nicest things sometimes, ya know that?” She sauntered over to him, shedding her duster. She watched his eyes go wide. “You gonna make it up to me?”

“Yeah… yeah… I’ll totally make it up to you.”

She pressed herself against him. “I’ll have your full attention?”

He licked his lips, sweating almost as much as the foreman had.

“Yeah, totally, babe. My… my full attention.”

She rested a hand on his groin and smiled even wider.

“Looks like I’ve got your full attention already…”

Jack swallowed. Nisha licked his ear, causing him to hiss. She could feel the tension in his body, the sudden hunger overtaking him. She knew she drove him crazy, and she loved it. She whispered. “So… make it up to me.”

Jack could take it no longer. Growling, he suddenly shoved her against the wall and kissed her hard. She could see the animal lust in his eyes. “Babe… I… you do realize I meant what I said, about littering being an offense here.”

She ran her fingers through his hair. “Yeah? What’re you going to do about it, handsome?”

He was kissing her collarbone now. “I’m gonna have to punish you.”

“Then punish me, handsome,” she breathed. “Punish me.”

He had her hands down her pants now, causing her to moan. “I will… I will punish you. Badly.”

“Yes…”

Her last rational thought, before it was replaced by ecstasy, was that maybe this vacation wouldn’t be so boring after all.


End file.
